Security Update

As of the last posting, Stallions have been defending the women and children of Rohan (while the Rohirrim are mustering in the east) against the treacherous InterGalactic Council. With numerous minor victories over their deranged foes, the final battle is due to occur at the Ross Park Spaceport tomorrow night at 6:20 (56:73 in Alderanian time), against an army of Minotaurs, masquerading as Yirara. The last time any Minotaurs attacked Stallions, an army of Centaurs from Narnia assisted the huge, handsome and incredibly funky horses, and the Minotaurs were soundly crushed into the ground (special thanks to Prince Caspian, who dug the hole for it). If you feel like you are being watched by something huge and hairy, make sure it isn't a Wookie, and please don't hesitate to call 1800minotaurbuster. A sure-fire way to distinguish between Star Wars hairy beasts and Narnia hairy beasts is that Narnian hairy beasts generally have horns and carry axes, whereas Star Wars hairy beasts generally carry blasters and don't have horns. The results of tomorrow's battle shall be posted tomorrow, or earlier if my gift of forsight returns.