Reports are coming in from the Hub 17, Alderran, that corn, once just yellow and cylindrical, is now evolving into an intelligent life form, with limbs closely resembling human limbs. This new species has been described as god-like, horrific and generally spunkacious. Republic scientists plan to name this new species 'Cornell', or elk-of-corn in Spandarin. According to the political scientists at Alderran, this new species is one of the hopes upon which the fate of the free galaxy rests upon, the other being Stallions reforming and defeating the evil horde of Buckleys.
Special warning from the Rebel HQ: Macbeth's castle stands to be taken by a Russian. This must be prevented at all costs; HQ can't remember why in particular, but what is clear is that Macbeth is, in reality, as popular as Duncan, even more so perhaps, and that the Russian, as well as her floozy moving forest, is a terrible threat to Ireland. Scotland's still trying to swim the dining room. One of the most comprehensive offensive operations in human (and elven) history, operation LEM, is officially home and hosed; however, a new problem has presented itself: the annual Imperial Ball. Many restrictions have been imposed upon this gathering by the Imperium, and approved space shuttles must be present both before and after the event, as well as multiple storm troopers. The strict securtiy has been widely hailed as unnecessary and rather uncalled for.
On another note, two Stallions, one in traditional attire, were sighted at the Schulerhaus party, otherwise known as the Cantina (though not on Mos Eisley). This pair, accompanied by loyal supporter and vassel Jan, were seen rapidly trying to escape Herr Leonard. Weise and Stallion #9 were heading back to the Cantina after a brief session hiding in the basement, when Jan stopped, apparently smitten by two spies, one from South Africa and one from Oman. Sensing an ambush, the two Stallions managed to save Jan from the clutches of these evil fiends. But the Fellowship of the Fling had been spotted. Once back at the Cantina, the three realised it was quite boring, that there were Imperial spys everywhere and that they would die of passive smoking if they did not leave. Thus impressioned, they arrived back at the hideout, Eichenhaus, and began drinking water to cool their blood temperature so as not to be detected by Imperial Deathalisers. Suddenly, they recieved a holograph- Sauruman was heading to Eichenhaus. Hurridly taking cover in the grass opposite, the trio came to the ABRUPT CONCLUSION THAT THERE WAS, IN FACT, ONLY TWO OF THEM. Weise, a brave and loyal Stallion, had returned to rescue Lukas, a trusted shuttle pilot. And then Mr. Leonard arrived. The remaining Stallions, after a brief sing-a-long session to the Doors, saw Sauruman leave and then went back inside the house. Weise was still in the Cupboard, and Lukas under the bed. All the excitement after a night with some Colt 45's in the Cantina and Potato Juice in the basement had hurried the effects of the Potato Juice, and so, unable to do much else, the Fellowship managed to reach their sleeping capsules and lay. The two Stallions, of course, didn't sleep, as their superior anatomy allows them to constantly opperate, but they tried to appease the mortals anyway. Suddenly a troop of orcs burst in, led by the Captain of Yirara, a 13 ft Minotaur. Unfortunately for the orcs, the Minotaur began to eat them before they arrived at the sleeping capsules, and cheesed about the excess noise, a shaman from WOW hopped out of Weise's computer and turned them all into corn.
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14 years ago
