Graffiti- An Irate Stallion

Far out, I'm sick to quite a lot of death of text talk and Ewok hate mail. The next twat who has the bright idea to graffiti in text talk will have Stallions to deal with. And I'm serious. Gandalf won't be happy. Stupid earthlings. In fact, Emperor Palpatine has personally pledged to destroy earth with the Death Star next time somenoe does. He is particularly offended with the graffiti in room eight of Battlestar Galactica, in which some semi-retarded Tauntaun has written 'maths is uber gay'. Not cool. He will kill your family. And my golly gosh, Ewok hate mail is also getting old. I will destroy your planet and take Princess Leia as my wife. By the way, all you Jawas who are pretending you've been to my world: my droids have sent several cease and desist holographs. Next thing thing for you is no more family. You haven't even been to the crunch.

Security Update

As of the last posting, Stallions have been defending the women and children of Rohan (while the Rohirrim are mustering in the east) against the treacherous InterGalactic Council. With numerous minor victories over their deranged foes, the final battle is due to occur at the Ross Park Spaceport tomorrow night at 6:20 (56:73 in Alderanian time), against an army of Minotaurs, masquerading as Yirara. The last time any Minotaurs attacked Stallions, an army of Centaurs from Narnia assisted the huge, handsome and incredibly funky horses, and the Minotaurs were soundly crushed into the ground (special thanks to Prince Caspian, who dug the hole for it). If you feel like you are being watched by something huge and hairy, make sure it isn't a Wookie, and please don't hesitate to call 1800minotaurbuster. A sure-fire way to distinguish between Star Wars hairy beasts and Narnia hairy beasts is that Narnian hairy beasts generally have horns and carry axes, whereas Star Wars hairy beasts generally carry blasters and don't have horns. The results of tomorrow's battle shall be posted tomorrow, or earlier if my gift of forsight returns.

Warning: All Followers

It is with severe anguish and hurt that Stallion #9 informs you that Stallions has been betrayed by the Intergalactic Council. More information will be available soon, however we must dash because some Bloghghgs from the planet Xuberan are here.

Stallion Calls Blink-182 and Asks for Explanation- a Pointless Post

Last night, after a terrble all night battle with some Trekkies over how good Deepspace 9 is, Stallion #9 decided to look on the internet to catch up on global affairs. He found, to his profound excitement, that Blink-182 had reformed! however, his euphoria was short lived, when he realised they'd been back together for almost a month. Thoroughly cheesed off that he had not been informed by his peers, he decided enough for enough, and he rang Blink up. When Mark Hoppus answered the phone, Hoppus originally tried hang up, however, upon hearing that it was a Stallion, he promptly put his phone on speaker so that Tom Delonge and Travis Barker could also hear. After a brief explanation, Blink apologised profusely and promised it would never happen again. Stallion #9 then looked at his watch and remembered he had to be in Coruscant for a battle with the Bounty Hunter Boba Fett, so he hurridly flew off into space.

P.J

Some of you may recognise the evil leader of Verdi Blue, P.J

This is the Stallions' away uniform

More on Stallions...

However, in between saving Hobbits and Princess Leia, Stallions function as a football team, and play on Ross Park Oval, Narnia. To date, Stallions have only been defeated once in two seasons of 7-Aside. Stallions is a truly intergalactic team, with members from Germany, Scotland, Italy and Australia. In fact, a former Stallion, Travis, was from Rohan. Unfortunately, he has been brainwashed and enslaved by Verdi Red (shape-shifters escaped from Animorphs), and although Stallions does plan to rescue him, they are too busy fighting the Emperor in the Clone Wars and Sauron at Isengard.